Saturday Jan 3/15

My mom came for a visit yesterday. We ate healthy food, went for a walk at the mall & shopped, went to a movie and she gave me a facial. She taught me how to take care of my skin and about washing my face very gently in inward circular motions. Then to use cool water on my face to close the pores before applying facial cream. Oh, she also gave me a haircut.

My mom teaches me to treat myself properly – the way my body needs to be treated to be most healthy. After all that I went to sleep just after 10pm and slept until just before 6am.

She did notice dark eye circles under my eyes and so I’ve found this information below on the subject. I find it very interesting to learn that when we’re tired we produce more cortisol to stay awake and that cortisol also promotes fat accumulation. One great reason to retire to bed early.

“Well the answer is thought to lie in how the body acts when it’s low on energy. When the body is tired, production of the chemical cortisol is dramatically increased to help give you the energy you need to stay awake. Among many other things, cortisol actually increases the volume of the blood in your body, which causes the blood vessels (including the ones below your eyes) to engorge to accommodate it. As we’ve already mentioned, dark circles are mostly caused by us seeing our blood vessels / blood through our skin, so it stands to reason that when those blood vessels are engorged, they’d be easier to see, even in people who may have been blessed with thicker skin below their eyes.

So, whether by passing on their genes to you or for not letting you sleep in after a gaming all-nighter when you’re young, it’s all your parent’s fault. ;-) Something that is/was even more reckless of them as cortisol promotes fat accumulation. So your lack of sleep is likely contributing to more than just under-eye cosmetic issues.”



Thursday January 1, 2015

Early this morning I had the opportunity to sit down and write out my physical health goals for 2015 and this morning I posted them on the wall in the garage. I usually make 3 month goals but this year I have decided to create a plan that I want to work on for the year. I will increase the intensity of the exercises and the actual exercises themselves but maintain a solid total body workout and cardiovascular plan as well as a nutritional plan.

It could not have come at a better time for I am faced with some personal challenges in my life and having success in this area would really help carry me through this difficult time.

I am so very excited to be back at work and contributing to society and to the world. I just hope I have the emotional strength to stay focussed over the next several months as things sort themselves out.

My children are so incredibly important to me. Such beautiful spirits who I am so excited to teach and guide and pray for. They are healthy, happy, active, smart and tons of fun. I hope they have a nice time with their grandmother over the next couple of days.

10:27pm I just noticed myself feeling stressed and down as I did this afternoon. It’s very interesting to see the time and how I am affected by it. The emotion of jealousy is something I want to explore to understand why I am feeling how I do and what I can do about it.


Understanding Jealousy

Jealousy is a complex emotion that encompasses many different kinds of feelings that range from fear of abandonment to rage to humiliation. Jealousy can strike both men and women when they perceive a third-party threat to a valued relationship, it can be a problem among siblings competing for parental attention, or envy for a wealthier more successful friend. Conventional wisdom holds that jealousy is a necessary emotion because it preserves social bonds. But jealously usually does more harm than good to relationships, and can create relationship conflict and violence.

December 29, 2014

1:49am I’ve been so so tired lately and I figured out why – B12 deficiency.  I am going to get this sorted out tomorrow and then hopefully I’ll be back to my motivated self. My hubby and I had our second couch talk tonight. I am absolutely loving them – a chance to connect and to grow our relationship.  Good good stuff.

Day 13: December 26, 2014

I feel like I’m in a huge, huge ship on the water and I am trying to turn or make a change and no one is helping. Like I am the one trying to get our home and life in order and no one else here at my house cares – or they are incompetent.

I’m grateful to have a smaller house so I can get something accomplished – I cleaned up 1/2 the garage just now and got a load of dishes on but my husband seriously laid in bed for 2 days just now. He stayed up all night the 24th and 25th on his computer and then just laid in bed all day. Seriously – a total slob!!!

My goals for 2015 are to be physically and financially fit. I want my home and my body to be healthy and our finances to be in order. I think these goals are SMART. I can do it.

Day 10: December 23, 2014

1:32am There are certain environments that stress me out more than others.  Being here at my parents home – that’s loaded in hidden junk food is a trigger for me. I cannot come here alone. I cannot come here for extended periods of time. It’s not good for me.

7:35pm I am so happy to be home. I’m still grumpy though. The good news is that I am not pregnant. More good news is that the boys other Uncle sent them money for Christmas. The stressed out news is that I really should use the money to pay bills for this is what we really need for Christmas – expenses paid.

The boys and I just watched Home Alone together. They think it is so funny. Now my hubby is putting them to bed while I figure out what I need to do now to get ready for Christmas. I wrapped up a bunch of presents today for the kids from extended family. We have a decent amount of food and a great dinner planned at my mom’s house tomorrow night. I really want to say – screw it – my gift this Christmas to myself is no stress – just relax and enjoy. This is what we’ll do then. Just relax.